Tv Marathon Maestros Gifts

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

American Idle.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

TV-Man

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Starvation Watching

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

Inactive wear store.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

John Stride

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."