Tv Host Pillows

Audience given prompt to laugh: 'I don't think it's funny either - Now laugh!'

'He's a Jerry Springer Spaniel.'

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

'My mind's gone blank.'

Rachel Maddow

'so let me get this straight... you're famous for being the sister of the wife of a man who went to school with someone who knew someone else who is already famous?'

Reality TV

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'... And here's one I made earlier.'

Religious man watching religious TV

'Before I leave, I'd like everyone to know I wear a toupee.'

Another reason why people who are married should never co-anchor the news.

Graham Norton

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Now, in addition to our regular programming, let me tell you about tonight's specials."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"Today we talk about political philosophy..."

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

'In other news, Martin Bormann came out of hiding today and got into a fistfight with Geraldo Rivera.'

'Does the world really need a dog talk show?'

"Welcomes politician to the show."

Showbiz Awards

"You're loud, egotistical and not particularly funny. . . why don't you go for a career in television?"

'Run it by legal and then a couple of talk-show hosts.'

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'Victory!'

'Please stand by -- Larry King has temporarily lost his suspenders.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

Bashing french speaking Canadians just makes you look like a proper moron.