Tv Fixer-upper Pillows

'Maybe you should fix the TV stand.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Now it fits.'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.