Tv Fixer-upper Pillows

'Maybe you should fix the TV stand.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Now it fits.'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

The Upholstery Consultant

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

Well paid job

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.