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David Starkey

Trial by Media

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Einsteiners.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

TV-Man

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Spoiler alert."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

Solar Panel

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

God with Earth Controller

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

Remote control wars.

Young Houdini

'Come die with me.'