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Finding Bigfoot

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Bloody hell!"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Love is when you watch television together.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Kritik's Korner

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Canadian film production

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Moby Dick

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'