Tuscany Dreamer Gifts

"Notice the quintessential aroma of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up in Italy."

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

All Roads Lead To Rome

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

Inbox and Outbox

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

"It's a time machine. I came to show it to you next week but you were busy."

'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'

'Roger has his heart set on Texas, for the chili cook-off season!'

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

'What worries me is what is going to replace automation.'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

"I'm prescribing two weeks in the carribean. You've got mold."

The passage of time.

'Where do you want the limbo bar set? Low, lower, extra low or U.S.-household-savings-rate?'

'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

"I don't sing. I do standup."