Turkeys Pillows

Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.

"Well, it was good to know you, Clyde."

The Rooster Comedian.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Roscoe's Great Escape

"Mum, I've heard that Faberge eggs are very valuable. What kind of animal is a Faberge?"