Turkey Roasters Pillows

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

God perfects his turkey design.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Christmas escape plan

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."

'My Christmas bonus.'

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'