Turkey Protector T-Shirts

"Anywhere that doesn't celebrate thanksgiving."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Urban Expansion

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

'She thinks of them as her children...'

Notre Dame Fire

Never wanting to harm any creature, the Buchanans outfitted their car with the hydraulic Critter Clearance System.

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

"Have they no shame?"

'Goddam Range Rovers churning up the countryside,'

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

"You poor thing. Let's get you cleaned up."

Reselling for Fun and Profit

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

"We'd like to promote the concept of a nontraditional Thanksgiving."

'Only twelve tribes and they've already lost TEN of them?'

'It's a survival trick: I'm making sure the fur-traders have no interest in my hide...'

Protecting Historic Landmarks

'In this district, Constable, you can't be too careful!'

"I quit."

'Near Thanksgiving she always takes her animal rights work a little too far.'

'Alliance Against Red Meat'

West Australian mining industry

'Proud yes, but enough to try it again!'

A man panic from concerns about hacking.

"I'm a librarian."