Turkey Day Strategist Gifts

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'I'll take ten, please.'

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

Thanksgiving.

'How To Survive The Holidays'.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'My Christmas bonus.'

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'

"Remember you making fun of me for using a litter box? Well, good luck going outside now that it's freezing out."

"I switch to this mask if I know the homeowner is more of a cat person."

T is for Turkey

See? Just trace your feathers like this, and you've drawn a person!

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."

"That's him office...the peeping tom!"

The Vorsteins plan to raise their own turkey for Thanksgiving failed the moment their kids named it 'Bobo'.

I think I've figured out why you're having air flow problems.

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence downed set free the first turkey he sees."