Tune-up Guru T-Shirts

"Oh...that's not good."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Lennon and McCartney.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

ZZZZZZZ Top

"This next one's another oldie."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Keeping warm.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dating is so expensive...

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"You left your demons here last week."

"Be creative...!"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Absolutely not!"