Tulip Tiptoer T-Shirts

'An environmentalist group today petitioned Congress to ban 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.''

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Tiptoe through the tulips with me!

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'I think you'll find you can't tiptoe wearing clogs!'

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

"I got out of tulips after the market collapsed, but I'm slowly getting back in. Especially pink ones."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

Tip responsibly

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'I never get tipped!'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

Geert Wilders as a broken tulip,

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

Shoveling Snow in Spring

'Just give him the tip, Harold.'

'Are you tiptoeing through the tulips again, Iggy?'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'It's that waitress I always leave big tips to.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'