Thrifty Tippler T-Shirts

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

Tip responsibly

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

'Thinker's drinker.'

Ballet Beggar.

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

"You know this is to solve your problems."

Harry, I've just had a tip!

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

Diner giving shirt off his back to waiter on receipt of bill.