Tudor Period Mugs

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

William Shakespeare

Thomas Cranmer

"All other letters have been disallowed."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Thor's Other Tools

Lady Jane Grey

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Simplified Tax Plans

Edmund Spenser

Elizabeth I

'Brain eating zombies attacked your economic advisers!...The zombies starved to death.'

'Forget about the Holy Grail for now - I want you to look for weapons of mass destruction.'

"Remind me again, did the President say that or was it the Kardashians?"

"Nap time for the senate babies"

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

"It's too late to give a tax cut to the rich, Sire -- They're all poor now."

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

"You can't send us a check and expect me to forget the killing. I also want a Trump Hotel in Saudi Arabia."

1588: Queen Elizabeth I returns from her holidays

"I know how you feel."

'Having demonstrated his total lack of leadership skills, Netherby is leaving to head up a federal agency.'

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

'Books: Bill's Memoirs, Hillary's Memoirs.'

Henry VIII

Thomas Wolsey

Hammer of God

Henry VIII

Queen Elizabeth I

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS: 'They say I should conquer Switzerland.'