Trustworthiness Advocates Gifts

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"Overruled."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Crisis of values

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'It's best not to talk behind other people's back's, son. But if you must, the place to do it is in the media.'

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

Complete Intergrity - "Jeez, look at the tits on that broad!"

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

"Baldo, I'm proud of you for admitting you were wrong, but remember...a man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything."