Trustworthiness Advocates Gifts

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"Overruled."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Crisis of values

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

Complete Intergrity - "Jeez, look at the tits on that broad!"

'Nothing like fear tactics to deter future leakers!'

'It's best not to talk behind other people's back's, son. But if you must, the place to do it is in the media.'

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info