Honesty Advocates Gifts

"No, it's still perjury, we don't make exceptions for 'white lies'."

"I suppose my one weakness is I'm far too forthright, Tubby."

Guest and hostess are honest and rude to one another at a party

'You smell like mothballs.'

Agency Honesty Day: 'I have no idea what I'm doing.'

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"Overruled."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'At least he's honest.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Crisis of values

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'