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'I amassed a fortune and you had to have a government bailout. Why would I let you manage my wealth?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

US and the EU

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"That was a rumor day."

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

"Whither NATO?"

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"