Trust Issues Ponderer Pillows

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

'This is Ferguson... He don't hate the boss, he don't hate his job, he don't hate the government, he don't hate his wife... You better not trust him.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

The Price of Freedom

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Surgical Self-Service

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Right, we could go with the ethical decision, but let's not panic yet."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'