Trunk Tales Lover T-Shirts

'I still say the trunk makes it too weird!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Rockefeller Center."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Finding Bigfoot

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

Might Versus Right.

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

Sailors of the Early 1700's often mistook the manatee for a beautiful mermaid...

"Read me that new turtle book that's getting all the buzz."

"Where the @!!!$#% are the pigeons?!"

Trilby - 'Svengali! . . . Svengali! . . . Svengali! . . .'

Bending beneath the weight of his burden, he lay it upon the moss (Atala).

'Oh crud, how am I gonna get past this guy.'

'Well, looking back, I suppose it was a mistake to sue the king.'

"Ah - This Must Be My 2006"

'Why am I sitting up here so high? Because I have long legs!'

'I went fly fishing yesterday. I caught a 5lb blue bottle.'

Mythology Amusement Park. It's closing time, but some of the customers won't leave. Closing time 6PM. Narcussus in still in the hall of mirrors. Poseidon won't get off the waterslide. And Aphrodite is in the tunnel of love. Let's get Zeus to help us. They have to do whatever he says, he's the god of the sky! Not anymore --- He's riding the parachute jump!

T-Rex Basketball

Ralph Rackstraw and Josephine HMS Pinafore

'This is an older model, but it does have extra truck space in the rear.'

Genetically enhanced height

'Well, technically, Eugene, we're not under the mistletoe...'

'I just don't get the point of this game.'

Basketball team toilets.

Edward the Overtall