True Crime, But Make It Wine T-Shirts

"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."

The Vineyard

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"True crime meets reality TV"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Crime in bookshop

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Portfolio, 2011

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

Madoff and devil.