Trough Gourmet Pillows

'It's so hard getting seated here... would you care to join me and my friends?'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Queen of Quinoa

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Whatever he's eating.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

Pizza-Matic

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

"Cemetery Pie"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

'I would go with salmon on this one.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

Boxer with a pizza

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

Ants take cheese and grater

'Could you please bring Marco Polo a fork.'

"The usual"

"Dinner's ready."

"Judging by the noises your stomach is making, this app can suggest which restaurant to go to, and what and how much to order."

Vlad the Impaler - the Later Years

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.