Trouble In Paradise Pillows

'Sue, will you see a marriage counselor with me?'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'See you in two weeks!'

I love my Uke.

"At last - no Trump."

Life on cloud 8

Death takes a holiday.

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Express Check-out: Two babies or less

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Love Island

Mini-tree in woman's drink has mini-man on it.

Danger! Snake heaven.

'My ears are burning too - do you think they're talking about us at the bank?'

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

"Wow! A secret admirer!"

"Draw one more of your stupid desert-island cartoons and I'm gonna hit you!"

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

'You see, Son, when life hands you coconuts, you...ummm, ...Boy this would have been a lot easier to explain when I owned that lemon grove.'

Something to read

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'Hey, at least I'm not a cliche.'

Desert Island Trap

"Mr Jones is getting increasingly frustrated with the attitude of airlines"

Do you think it's too late to go into the ambassador business? Little buddy

God's Phone Number

A castaway is watching a ship sink and some of the cargo is drifting towards him.The cargo is barrels of coconuts-which he has plenty of as is...

'I never thought paradise would be a steak and a pint of beer!'

Down with the 'Desert-Island' Cartoons!

Grim Reaper stranded on a desert island.

'Omigod - we forgot to turn off the humidifier!'

"Your room has been comped."

A man on an island is given a palm tree.