Tropical Gardening Gifts

"It says here...'palm tree'." (landscape)

'I think Fred's taken the idea of having a conservatory a little too far!'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Pina Coladas

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

PIna Colada

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

'Well at least we've got some shade from the sun.'

"Delivery."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

"On the contrary. I think the Carribbean countries have a great many education practices that are worth studying."

Castaway on a desert island with one tree finds a hammock.

"Beware of dog"

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

"Sorry I've called last orders"

At this time I'd like to thank the man or woman who invented the parasol. Without it, an indoor rain shower might dilute this Mai Tai, hindering my ability to get my full Don Ho groove on.

'Do you do anything other than coconut?'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

"Since I run an online business, I can work anywhere. It was time to get out of the cold."

'Where is it written that I can't wear a Hawaiian shirt?'

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.

"Breakfast's ready, darling."

"The secret is to make climate change work for your."

"I just feel like a cliche."

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

'Sure, everybody is repeating it, but it doesn't mean it's true...'

Castaway with nothing to do.

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

Danger Coconuts