Trivial Master Pillows

'Eureka! There it is! The perfect parking spot! Turn left and it's on your right side. But hurry!'

Remote control pirate bully

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Historical memory is on life support.

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Baby Playing Violin

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

The Bare Minimum

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

I love being right.

Yo Yo Tricks.

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

'I guess this marks the beginning of the prin-ting dynasty!'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'Which Louis am I again?'

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

'Remember that code we couldn't decipher for seven years? We deciphered it - but do we want to know everything there is to know about rainfall in eastern Peru?'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Baby's First Opera

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

Here's a useful trick I taught her

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Pub Quiz

A scientist with Biology, Chemistry and Science Trivia certificates on his wall

A man working on a model airplane

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

Company Awards - "The innovation Award goes to Henderson for living within his salary."

Career coaching at a yoga studio