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Magician tells of Apprentice

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

Primitive magician

Candid Camera store.

Some card-game puns

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Yoyo sheep

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Magic Tricks

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

'I hate frisking magicians!'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

'I can 'YO', but the second 'YO' isn't working!'

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

Clown Wedding with Rake

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'