Trial Tactics Lover Pillows

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

Trial by Media

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"You can't plead cute."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Counsel's Opinion.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'