Trendy Toddler Gifts

Very funny. Now move your cap and mask front-forward.

Haircuts

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Men's business romper.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Little Princess.

Musical notes bubble gum.

Baby rocks!

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"We have the exact same taste."

Pop Culture for Teens

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

Little Red Riding Hoodie

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Can I get you another coffee?

Jeans sale

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Fashionista

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

Twenty-first century baby walker