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Basic Witch: Self-Care Guide For Fall

"Here we are."

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

Witches of Instagram

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"At least she's reading."

Witch: 'I've mellowed. Instead of black, do you have a gray cat?'

Modern Witch Shoppe

Witches at a cauldron.

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

Hexercise.

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"Your're mum's well wicked."

Candle Size

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

My Cauldron Rules

"Remember my frog-slash-boyfriend? Well now he's my prince-slash-fiancé!"

Wiccapedia.

'Mum, have you seen my pet lizard anywhere?'

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

"I can't remember if it's one eye of newt, or two... Hang on, I'll just take a look at my spell checker."

'We really need to upgrade our Pharmacy!'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'