Trendy Homemaker T-Shirts

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Modern Parents

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

"It's a text from my microwave...leftovers for dinner again tonight."

Swiss Army Wife

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

Wallpapering.

"Hey! 'Made in U.S.A.'!"

Drone Fly Trap

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Cook and PC

"It's the latest thing. A solar energy dryer."

'No, the woman of the house is at work. May I help you?'

Rabbits on Pinterest

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the heat and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'