Trendy Dining Pillows

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

"There's kale in every dish here - buy you don't even taste it."

"Is everything intense, sir?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's fast-casual."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"What's trending?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

Can I get you another coffee?

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."