Trend Torpedo Gifts

'How obvious can you get?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

The Mainstream

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Wearing all black

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

Clarence always halved lots of cargo.

"I agree, a national conversation on privacy is wait! Yum...I've gotta share these pix!"

Wave of new developers following the tide of distributors.

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

Selfie Acrobat

'It's the latest thing! - Escargo pants!!'

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

Cat selfie

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

Hipster Rope.

Elevator buttons: Up, Down, Out of Bounds.

Behold, the fad herald cometh. He'll be proud of me; I just ordered both iPhone sixes. Hear ye. The following are out: soda, sitcoms, blogs, militarized police, Facebook and selfies. The following are now in: energy drinks, finger puppets, respectful cops, Snapchat and dronies. Also in: giving drones weekends and holidays off. Also in: the robot apocalypse. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINA- I MEAN, WE COME IN PEACE.

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.

Stubble Bubble Store

"Boss, here's an absentee note from my life coach. Yesterday he benched me."

"The law firm of Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming..."

"You were right—I do feel more productive standing."

"My job is in finance. This is just my hobby."

Guy reading 'Irvine Welsh' drinks 'Earl grey'

'Let's take a shelfie.'

"Iced raspberry low cal semi-skimmed frappucino whipped froth frapuccino latte please!"

"Yes but I had one before they were trendy."