Trend Skeptics Pillows

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Bum Fever: Catch it!!!

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"Well, really, there's nothing that would stop us from actually working. It's just tradition that has us drones lazing around."

"I don't want an 'outfit'. I just want clothes."

"I'm only wearing one globe because the weather forecast said that toay it might be warm, but on the other hand it might be cold."

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

The gold price chart.

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

'It's finally happened - no fats, no sugar, no colouring, no ingredients whatsoever!'

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

"I once thought about a man bun, but lost interest when I found out it wasn't food."

The worst is over...the worst is yet to come.

'Good thinking.'

'Not Indigent. Just can't afford a life coach, job coach & health coach.'

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"Can we stop talking about turmeric now?"

'It doesn't have a name...it's generic food.'

"I've been standing here all day, but there's no change!"

"I'm waiting for it to come out in some format that hasn't been invented yet."

The Mood Ring

I Hate My Hat Magazine