Fitness Trend Skeptic Pillows

Over-priced clumsy exercise equipment.

"I'm not only working on my core, I'm also saving money by not having to buy an exercise ball."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Jeff was watching his weight.

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

You're stuck in a lousy health club membership, too?

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."