Trend Navigator T-Shirts

Elevator buttons: Up, Down, Out of Bounds.

Guy reading 'Irvine Welsh' drinks 'Earl grey'

Stubble Bubble Store

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I, TikTok."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"That shirt is so last year."

Kensington Fluffies

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.