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How to look good vapid.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Men's business romper.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"What are you doing?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"