Trend Critic Mugs

"Love that new pox!"

Lemming Coaches

"I once thought about a man bun, but lost interest when I found out it wasn't food."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Men's business romper.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Stock market investment advice

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Kensington Fluffies

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"We succumbed to your hype."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

#notblessed