Trend Skeptic Mugs

Health and safety announcement.

'Good thinking.'

'Not Indigent. Just can't afford a life coach, job coach & health coach.'

"We took everything that was nice and got rid of it."

I Hate My Hat Magazine

Contains No Coconut Oil

The Mood Ring

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

The end is near! There's one crazy lemming in every crowd, isn't there?

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

zero likes t-shirt

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

"Dad, everyone is putting their names on their car! It's about being the coolest you can be!"

"God, I HATE man buns!"

"Nope...your 'Comb Over Ponytail' still isn't trending."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Progress?

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'And now, Henderson will introduce his 25-part plan on spontaneity.'