Trenchcoat Fashionista Pillows

“I’ve got all the first-name key chains they don’t put on the rack.”

Carioca

A man wearing a ruff and a feather cap

"I got a job!"

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

'Hold it RIGHT there, buster! Nobody leaves the floor before signing out first!'

Birthday Cake

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'Johnny Depp'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

"I'm looking for something that won't say anything about me."

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"A duck call won't grab the attention of a modern duck. You need to draw them in with Snapchat."

An anarchist angel wearing his halo as a hoop earring,

'I accidentally flipped onto my back and couldn't get up. That's the last time I wear a turtleneck.'

A sweet and tender kiss

'Going as a high-thread-count ghost again this year.'

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'

Why concealed carry is not an issue for archery.

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

Wrapping up trees.

"Very Republican. I love it."

Cowgirl applying bullet shaped lipstick.

'A player' carried in his sedan chair, preceded by his footman

What's the key to being a great artist, Al? Is it the beret? Don't be silly, Axel. It's the smock.

Saul and the Pauls

"I don't know why my dad insists on dressing like a tourist when he gets on Google Earth."

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

'Now, that's just my luck! I show up at this restaurant for the first time wearing a red shirt and you run out of tomato sauce!'

"Let me remind you all of the policy against dressing provocatively, and yes, we're referring to what you wore last Tuesday, Don."

No, it can't be my size, it's comfortable.

"I'd never want to be president. You'd have to wear a pantsuit."