Tremor Tactician Gifts

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

Lynching on social media

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

Kitchen Tetris

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

The Jose Padilla Experience

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Carlo Ancelotti

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'