Tree Taster Pillows

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Wine taster with mineral water

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

My comfort zone

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

Baby at Christmas Dinner

'Frank, it's water.'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

The Schematic map of Miss Mathilda's afternoon assortment box of Bonbons

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

Brew Clubs

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'