Tree Admirer Gifts

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

Now that's what I call a big tree.

"Every year, I'm a little more annoyed by evergreens."

You guys are losers! You sleep through the entire winter. You don't see a snowfall, experience the holiday season, or get to watch the Super Bowl! Don't listen to him. He envies us because people travel hundreds of miles to see the spectacular colorful show we put on every fall. He's just a jealous coniferous tree. All he can do is try to needle us!

Types of Winter Trees.

"Here comes that tree hugger. Didn't you file a restraining order against him?"

Grace For Flies

Life is for the birds.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Swan Fairy Tales

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

A mother and baby elephant

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Where Indian ink came from.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Polar bear bowling alley

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Marco ..."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Dog in Daisys

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Taking it easy

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'