Treat Day Planner Pillows

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Santa Claus's Mail

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Bad gifts

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I smell cranberries."

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

Clock in, Clock out.

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

Turkeys and Thanksgiving - Last Words.

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

Turkey Decoy

Santa relaxes by Fire