Treasury Management Gifts

"I understand he used to be in treasury management!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Maybe clean out your wallet

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

Investing your savings

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."