Treadmill Junkie T-Shirts

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Olympic Torch Training

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

Banana

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Walking To School Simulator

'Will I still be married?'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

Health

Apocalliptical

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

"Still on your left."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

"You're in extreme danger because you eat too much/eat too much fat/don't exercise/worrying about these things will kill you."

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'I need to lose enough pounds to take a thirty-five meal cruise!'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

At the baby oil factory.

Academy.