Traveling Raconteur T-Shirts

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

Airplane food

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Non Thought For The Day.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'Can you tell me where James Herriot lives?'

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Who wants to go first?"

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

The aviation experts come out to play

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''

Monster Souvenir

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Traveling abroad from Cuba...

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Caravan and Humpback Bridge

'Rumour has it - he upset a 'Witch - doctor' while on holiday in Africa!'

"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

"That was Hadrian's wall. Now here we are crashing into the Great Wall of China."