Road Trip Raconteurs T-Shirts

"Alton Towers was rubbish, Mum - the A14 was much scarier."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kardiff.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

'Are we broke yet?'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Yes, That Was The Exit

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Sister Cities

Street signs you don't want to see.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

Id/Ego/Superego.

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Left, right, left, then straight ahead."