Travelers Picking Hotels Gifts

Laundering charges.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

The Suite Hereafter

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Biliard Enthusiast

'Bed & Bagel'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'Oh, the amenity!'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Hotel mini-bar.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Seal blubber stew

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

'What gave him this idea?'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

Graffiti on baseboard.

Sparrow Hilton

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."