Travel Schemer T-Shirts

"You're getting warmer."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Tourists

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'Are we broke yet?'

Italia tours

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

BIG BOOK OF CAMPER VAN NAMES

Greek A-Z Map,

Pyramid Handicap Parking

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

Gulliver's other travels.

Tiny air ship flying over globe.

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"Me, my dream would be to attend the Cheery Blossom Festival in Japan..."

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

The London Olympic bid

Skiing at Sea