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'Only one arm rest? Sheesh! Airlines are getting so cheap!'

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Limerick Airport

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Can I have a look at the map?

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'