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'Airport arrivals' men with signs 'Mr smith', 'Miss Wilson', 'Just want to stand here feeling important'

'Remember our last cruise The porthole is not a wall safe,'

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

'Remember...over there we're snails, not escargot.'

The Many Faces of Bev

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Can I have a look at the map?

The leaning tower of Pizza.